Pretentious reply answered with pretentious reply

Because these comments are the sort who get deleted right after being posted--due to being hilarious.

Here is two comments from the comments on The Most Transphobic You Will Read This Week. Which I obviously have been working to hold that position for years now.

Catalina Payne ·

Stefanie Daniella

1) being a Transgendered Lesbian with an IQ above the range of what is usually possible to human capabilities, I have learned to understand what is past most people's ability to not have their eyes blur over and just start nodding.

Pretension

Everything you have said is NOT simple English. It is the exact opposite. It is the exact sort of stuff I'd say only if I wanted to come off as a complete, excuse my proper use of simple English here, a "cvnt".

In fact, I doubt you'd recognise simple English, if it wore an Irish football jersey and you agreed to call him "Dad".

2) There is a reason the original bibles were written in Greek (known as a "real language" and hebrew a language that sounds only like "bar bar bar"). Also, considering the Bible was written around 120AD... before that it was merely memetic in its telling for about seven to eight generations of story telling.

Have you ever played the game "grape vine" or "telephone"... EVERYTHING written down in the New Testament is this. Telling yourself otherwise is just silly.

3) Considering Christianity only gained a foot hold, after the traitor Ceasar Constatine saw a comet show, and put a cross onto his shield, and won a battle, then proceeded to kill anybody who questioned his judgement in how he followed the deity... gonna say the Catholic Church had a very rocky start. Especially in that they killed anybody who disagreed on how they followed Yahweh.

This is a bad start... as anything before this is just spinning tires. Having your brakes on can make your time machine make a cool noise... but it does nothing to promote movement.

4) When you either resort to large words to exercise your tongue in hopes it might make another woman think it might do good for diving (it at least would get you to shut up). Your only other option seems to be to insult people... who just do not seem to get you.

You now have somebody, who when tested on what the limits of her intelligence was, all tests came back inconclusive, as the limits did not seem in the intelligent limits of humans, who is telling you, "you sound like an idiot". Those big words confuse me, as largely, they are meaningless, and based on racist research. There only purpose is to make you feel superior, without giving you any call to have earned that feeling. That is the only reason the words you use exist. There is no further meaning behind them.

5) One, I am offended that anybody would use "positive" in any kind of good context. I for one, do not want to be positive of any sense in this rainbow alphabet soup.

I do want to be helpful, and willing to move with the best foot forward. Which tends to put me at odds with members of the community who love to believe "any ol' foot will do, we are the victims here, right?". Especially when my main goal is to try to tell members, "hey, watch where you step?! Just cause bad stuff happened to us, does not make it so we are automatically the good guys here. We may be the tomato in the mirror."

So, yes--I do come across as an enemy of the Rainbow Alphabet Soup communities. Yes, I am what the literal version of a "lesbian in a man's body" is actually a picture off... those douche bags in the bar, you are to ask them when they will be chopping off their bits. No, really--I hate those guys SO MUCH.

There is plenty of good reasons I do not automatically eat up everything the rainbow alphabet soup does because IT IS GAY! IT MUST BE GOOD!

A) Pride Parades made teasing get worse for me as a child. I find it hard to believe how anybody figured parading the worst stereotypes in a single place to celebrate it would STOP teasing. No, it just gave the kids ammo... lots and lots of brightly coloured tights wearing ammo with butterfly wings attached in tightie whities.

B) I came out as transgendered... I got raped by trannies. It was my fault an entire city's transgendered community tore apart: because I did not know what roofies were. Wonderful thing to have on your conscious and try to tell yourself, "this community cannot possibly be silly or wrong."

C) I do not understand how the Vagina Monologues or painting large amounts of pictures of my genitals... or the genitals of anybody else is actually helping. Hell, if there were Penis Monologues, I'd consider them just as retarded... as would anybody with an IQ point average above 50... hell even former President Bush would understand this as not a good idea... and be right.

D) Men are not the cause of the world's problems. Douche Baggery extends all race, creeds, nationalities and ideas of thought. I do love how effective you make this point to all those present, Stefanie. I do not dislike you because you are a lesbian or Catholic. I dislike you because you are honestly, a detestable person. I am fairly certain that there are awesome members of your goals. You are not one of them. Thus I do not respond in a helpful manner when I converse with you.

E) there are many cases and items in the Rainbow Alphabet Soup that are quite honestly horrible ideas. There needs to be people to point out, "you know... this MIGHT be a bad idea"... even if it gets us labeled as transphobic or homophobic. I'd rather be considered intelligent, than an enabler to stupidity.

-=-

In short, you are the sort of feel good twat, who is more interested in how her ovaries feel by moving your tongue back and forth, imagining the feeling you got the first time you had sex that was not in the missionary position for procreation while Jesus watched (to make sure it was done right)... than actually being effective and helping the community. Any element that allows your tongue to waggle, is an excuse for you to claim being helpful.

When it comes down to actually helping the community, I will be ready. In fact, talking with you, has given me a strange urge to wield a spanner. And to learn enough mechanics to obtain a position as a motorcycle mechanic for an alibi... suddenly, this stereotype makes sense. People who think that maybe, if you just make the target get you to shut up and put your lips to a good place, do seem quite present in the Rainbow Alphabet Soup community.. that these other stereotypes are starting to make sense to me now.

Either way: please, please... stop waggling that tongue... nobody wants you to go down on them... they might just tell you to, to get you to shut the fvck up, you stupid vapid tart.

I would ask you grow a brain... but I am not certain stupid could be cured here. Is there a Dr. House nearby? It might be actually be Lupis!

Reply · Like · 2 seconds ago

Catalina Payne

Stefanie Daniella never before has a woman gave me an urge to lumberjack, quite like you have. This is NOT a good thing.

Reply · Like ·

-=-

Now, I would give what I was replying too a chance to be posted here. However, most of my readers are already well beyond their daily recommended of pretentious bitchy ranting by a girl who does not seem to know what "a reality is"... I tried to pace myself for your balanced died. Either way, her posts could be randomly generated. They are mostly standard ones of:

1. No clue what a "paragraph" is... or how it would be used to help convey concepts
2. Excessive uses of ellipses "...". I Know it makes me look all like an 8x10 Tool shed. I do not imagine anybody else thinks it makes them look smart.
3. Those ellipses are three periods and not the proper ellipse symbol as part of ISO standard ASCII, Microsoft ASCII and UTF-8. No idea if it exists in EBCDIC or 7bit Microsoft ASCII (or was 7bit ASCII an ISO standard?)
4. Uses big words that are directly ripped from Third Reich research on how to not have homosexuality show up in Hitler Youth. Yes, before we even had a proper grasp of how Genetics worked, there were attempts to remove the gay gene... this vapid twat is describing herself using terminology from a poor attempt to do Galactica/Galaga/whatever. One we have since learned had nothing correct in how it was done. We now know much better ways to make a master race... this contained no working method to do that.
5. She feels like these words from bad attempts at Galaga (so bad, I think NOT looking up that movie works better for my points) actually convey to people what she is trying to say.
6. She will state that if you do not understand these terms, you are transphobic and homophobic. Never mind, they were created by poor attempts to make a pink triangle never show up (in that these terms apply to stuff that did not even WORK). If you are going to use words based on stuff used to breed out a certain trait... at least base it on stuff that actually functions. Is that too much to ask?
7. She has issues understanding how a language that exists on the British Isles starting around 900CE, might not be what the Bible was written in. That terms like "Heaven", "Hell" and "Saint" (all English words) existed for when the Bible was written. Yes, there are equivalents... but I honestly doubt she has a proper translation of the Bible either (if Jesus walks on Water... you are using the King James shiznit).
8. If I do not agree with her, because she uses big words she does not appear to fully understand... I am apparently transphobic and homophobic.
9. Insists on trying to have every letter in the Rainbow Alphabet Soup in her description of the Rainbow Alphabet Soup community. She cannot be that intelligent.
10. Has issues understanding some basic concepts and ideas in how the history of English literature came about.
11. I would learn Greek to try to counter her--but I prefer to talk like everything I say sounds like "bar bar bar". Which includes stuff that is useful in day to day life, such as German, Spanish, Russian, Mandarin and Sanskrit. I would learn a language designed around the basis of circle jerking and how nobody is as good as the people behind that language... but that spot is already filled by Mandarin... sorry Greek... maybe give me another reason to learn you.

DO NOT Masturbate while watching Jim Henson's Labyrinth

Okay... I do some pretty weird and odd things. Yes. At one point, I put on some Internet porn, while playing Jim Henson's Labyrinth. It was another Tuesday for me--and I figured, I am a little bit bored. Maybe I will motivate myself with some dirty stories, that is Erotic Fiction. I had put Jim Henson's Labyrinth on a bit prior. I was half watching it.. but really, that is all I have to do with that movie. I really do not think I missed much.

As well, it was a movie from before movies decided that the need to change camera angles and scenes fast enough to give small dogs seizures.

So, thanks to newer movies ruining me, by their flashing a scene for five seconds then onto another one like they were targeted for people with severe ADD, I was generally able to quickly see the wonderful and beautiful scenes in the movie. They truly were nice btw.

I was also able to load up some erotic fiction to try to release some pressure that tends to build up naturally. The movie was helping slow the build up. We have a stupid girl, who thinks she is more clever than she is. Kind of reminds me of some all blog writers. We have a David Bowie wandering around, essentially being the girls subconscious side of her mind. One that is merely there to keep her from her goal.

Girl has a really fvcked up mind. I mean, yes, I am certain I do have David Bowie running around in my head--but I understand it is because I am screwed up.

So, I am going into a fantasy or two. It is the internet, and erotic fiction covers all targets. Well, it covers a few that require the writer have some knowledge of biology before working on it.

I am going through it--imagining my little fantasy world, where sex is perfect. There are no issues... when the movie starts to pop in and interrupt. No... no... I can just ignore the fact we have a rather freaky looking David Bowie singing for a kid that he is going to turn into a Goblin. I can shut that out, while I explore.

Well, turns out I could not. I got off in my fantasy world, without much interference that time.

However, every time, I have tried to think about sex... David Bowie enters my head Labyrinth style.

I mean--maybe I should just accept this and make a sexual sort of fantasy out of it.

How about... no!!

I mean, I did consider the idea that doing this would have me get turned on during watching Labyrinth. I have a friend, that I had a threesome with, while watching Sweeney Todd. Who now gets an erection EVERY time he sees the movie. This same friend, I had another threesome with while he was playing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. No word on if that has made him get an erection at Legend Zelda games, young Zelda or young link. Or at the mention of forest stones. Me and his girlfriend kind of jumped him during the first speech Link and Zelda have, after he sneaks into that spot.

I mean, I am cool with getting hot when watching the movie. Or even when looking at David Bowie.

No... what really freaks me out, is when I am trying to have a nice peaceful, estrange sexual fantasy that breaks several taboos and quite possibly immoral, I suddenly have cast members from Jim Henson's Labyrinth show up.

It makes me feel guilty about what I am doing, and a bad person. Considering the actions in these fantasies WOULD make me a bad person, should I lose the ability to tell fantasy from reality--I really do not appreciate the added guests in the fantasy. GAH! Thank you David Bowie, you ruined sex for me!

First thing you'd do after surviving a zombie apocalypse? "Surviving" in this question is flexible because if you're undead and don't get a face of buckshot, you've still survived.

Well depends...

I mean, if it was one handled quickly, with the Zombies killed before the disease got too far, I'd probably return to work. Noting that nobody will really care about my Z-Day stories at the water cooler.

In the case that it is handled poorly, the only way that Z-Day will end--is once all humans are Zombies. As well, if we have both, the Zombie Apocolypse is still going on...

In which case I would be a screaming nympho zombie. The one that screams at you or has sex with you, while eating your brain.

I do not want people constantly asking me about Grim Fandango

Strip Prisoner's Dilemma: Rules

So, I have officially been challenged. I read something on XKCD that indicated nobody came up with rules for the game Strip Prisoner's Dilemma.

A brief summary of Prisoner's Dilemma for those unfamiliar:

Prisoner's Dilemma was designed to be a psychological game. One that is meant to figure out how most people work. Created one: to understand how people work, and two: gain the task of getting prisoners to confess.

You have probably seen this on various crime dramas.

The idea is that the prisoners are split up. If one confesses, and the other denies, the person who confesses will get six months, where as the one that denies will get ten years. If they both confess, they both get five years. If neither confess, they got off without a punishment.

Now, naturally because of how Rule 34 works and operates to most people (protip: it is a challenge for people, to ensure that nothing is safe from Rule 34) I have to come up with a set of pornographic rules to this game.

This is a game where there are two people involved. Prisoner's Dilemma really does not allow for more than two people--though, I will give mutliplayer rules in an advanced section.

Each person has a two cards they can use. One says "confess" and the other says "denies".

If one confesses and the other denies two articles of clothing come off the denier, followed by the denier required to masturbate for two time units (this is an arbitrary amount of time that both partners should know before hand), while the other player lightly feels up their skin in nonsexual regions however they want (finger tips, toes, tongue, nose, side of head, etc. You know what gets you off).

If both confess, both players remove one article of clothing and proceed for a rather heavy make out session for one time unit.

If both deny, both player keep their current clothing and lightly feel each other up in nonsexual regions. That is by rubbing finger tips, toes, tongue, side of head, etc., over the other player. Naturally the two partners should have a good idea of what gets the other off. Finger tips _usually_ are a save guess. Unless on of the partners is a amputee without finger tips and gets jealous at the idea of this occurring (would not be the most psychologically screwed up thing I have heard about people not liking). This is merely done until one of the partners says, "crime", or some other word as such.

In the case of more than two players, the total amount of time units, is how many players there are. This is also the total amount of clothing to come off in a turn is how many players there are.

In the case of a confession, the amount of people denying have to remove a set of clothes divided based on "total clothes" / deniers. Rounding up, of course. The amount of time units spend with the people denying in the case of a confession is "time units" / deniers. Rounding up of course.

In the case that everybody denies, it most results in people feeling each other up, until somebody says "crime", or something like that.

There we go, Rule 34, complete fixed to have Strip Prisoner's Dilemma.

I expect to see at least on fetish site with a fantasy scene around Prisoner's Dilemma also called Strip Prisoner's Dilemma. Likely a lesbian or gay bondage site or some sort, with two "prisoners" confessing or denying to a kinky "crime", and punished accordingly.

Now go my little starlings, go forth and be fruity!

Super Mario Sisters: Your Plumber's Life in the Dirty Streets of the Mushroom Kingdom

Okay--now then. the Mario Bros series may be a little bit hard to follow. Here is a little set of clip notes to help you understand this world and series a little bit better.

You start off with Mario and Luigi. Two Brooklyn  plumbers who are ethnically Italian, for some odd reason. Mario and Luigi are fraternal twins. They found themselves, somehow, in the Mushroom Kingdom, where they are the only human people there.

Well, except for Wario. Mario's OTHER twin brother. And Wario's twin brother Waluigi. Though, there is doubt as to whether Waluigi exists and anything other than a hallucination by Wario. Which is a very entertaining idea to follow. As Waluigi does not really appear in many games at all.

So, we have four twins. This without the "evil twin" villain that has appeared in various of the RPG titles. Usually an enemy disguising themselves as Mario.

Next we have Baby Mario and Baby Luigi, both of whom where born and were residents of the Mushroom Kingdom. Kind of screwing with Mario and Luigi's already highly held back story. Mostly held by a fair amount of outside media that Nintendo spread around prior to Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. This appearing in The Super Mario Brothers Super Show and the Mario Brothers cartoon that was created, independently from Captain Lou Albino, in Japan.

Okay, you have this all settled, good.

Now, we meet Mario's first love. Princess Pauline. Mario saved Princess Pauline from Donkey Kong several times. Eventually Mario ends up putting Donkey Kong in a cage, and Donkey Kong Jnr. comes and rescues his daddy. Placing Mario as a villain in a game.

Next, Mario moves onto rescuing Princess Peach Toadstool from King Bowser Koopa. Princess Pauline is dropped like last night's spaghetti and spicy meat-a-balls. Rarely mentioned from here on. Generally, Princess Peach is the damsel for all the games, up until the Wii games. Then we get Princess Rosalina for our damsel.

So why not move onto the Koopa family. Currently, the known members are King Bowser Koopa, the Koopa Kids, and Bowser Jnr. Bowser Jnr. is noted as King Koopa and Peach's love child. Though, when Mario confronts Bowser, Bowser Jnr. and Peach about this, Peach says it is not "her" kid.

Now then, we go to the Koopa Kids. Where do they come from? I mean--it is not like Bowser really has a harem or anything. I mean--"he" is always after Princess Peach. Well, one game does have the Koopa Kids call Bowletta mom. Also known as: Bowser in drag. Though, Bowser having large amounts of anonymous sex as a girl with fully working reproductive organs WOULD explain their appearance. In lieu of any other seemingly reasonable explaination.

Now, this leads the question of where did Bowser Jnr. come from? If Bowser is a girl, and Peach is a girl...

Did I mention that Peach is rarely the damsel in distress on games from the Wii forward. Peach has also been the hero of one game where she saved Mario and Luigi from Bowser.

We also have seen various games where Peach has disguised herself in various situations to get somewhere she wanted to be. Though, this ability to sneak out with disguises seems to not appear consistently. Possibly because the Peach persona she has taken the show with, is one she enjoys the most.

Bowser Jnr's mother is actually Bowser--his/her father is Princess Peach. This kind of sort of hints as to what that rather odd talk Bowser and Bowser Jnr would need to have after the end of Super Mario Sunshine.

It also raises questions as to why TEC from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, was so interested in Peach. The Pervy computer's perv factor has just jumped up a few levels.

It is not like the first time there has been /trans.*/ characters in Mario Brothers. Vivian is a male, who generally flirts with everybody in the game he is in. In Japan and a few other regions, his flirting is taken just fine, with no major issues. However, outside of Japan, Nintendo did not think that Vivian was quite the image they wanted to spread. So Vivian got his MtF transitional surgery outside of Japan.

This is without going into the Birdo issues. Birdo was noted in the manual of his debue game as being a guy, but wore a bow, and insisted everybody refer to him as "her". This manual, revealing Birdo to be a drag queen, cross dresser or transgendered, was recalled shortly after it was put out. He was only returned to this status, after he hooked up with Yoshi. A character generally referred to as male, despite having fully functional reproductive organs. Nintendo, decided to start going with the idea of referring to Birdo as male, and Yoshi as female. As the idea of a /trans.*/ lesbian couple seems really weird to most people. It is either those of Birdo is a girl, and Yoshi is constantly mpreg.

I mean, it is fully possible that Peach is just a really convincing Ladyboy. Try playing Super Princess Peach with this idea. Helps if you have seen enough cartoons and comics depicting this happenstance. Hayate Combat Butler is a popular one I hear. There are many many more.

Naturally when Peach ended up finally getting close with Mario, doing more than bake him some cake--which was not known to be a lie at this point in history. Since then, scientific research has indicated that yes, the cake is, in fact, a lie. Finally Mario got the truth--all twelve inches of it. Peach rarely needs to tuck it. However, when she does tuck it in, she does do a remarkably good job of it. This does explain greatly why dresses are an issue in New Super Mario Brothers Wii.

So now Mario is after Princess Rosalina--with I guess Peach still in the story as Bowser Jnr's deadbeat father. Though, this would explain her kidnappings now. Bowser just wants to talk about alimony and child payments.

And that is my post, ensuring your nightmares have been kept booked for the next week. Well, some of you, this will result in a few wet dreams... perverts.