The only reason any of you use the internet (And internet commandments)

Well, I normally only post blog entries during the last week of the month. No idea why one week of the month, my greatest desire would be to chew people out, bite their heads off and spit down their throat.

However, I came up to a little epiphany.

Why people use the Internet? Drama!

People talk about how much they hate Drama. Oh my god, there is so much drama here. Please, stop this.

In the past, I would have been more inclined to agree that less drama would be better.

However, it just kind of made sense that the only reason anybody uses the internet is because of how often we get that Special Olympics playing along. Whether you enjoy watching some of these events, or are a very big fan of taking part in these Special Internet Games, everybody loves drama on the Internet.

First lets go over the other "reasons" people give to justify this. Some of which I kind of thought might have been true before his most noodly appendage reached out from an alley and touched various parts of me. In other news, I need a new school uniform.

Myth: People Use The Internet for Research

This reason would work just fine... if not for the most abhorrent sin possible being present all over the internet.

1. Thou Shalt Not Be WRONG!

The internet allows us a rather wonderful medium to fix the idea that somebody out there may be wrong. This causes various methods to be put into place to try to fix their wrongness and make them stop being so damned wrong.

I mean, do you know how many billions of people every day, on the Internet, go around being wrong? It is a good thing that I have this blog, in place to slowly fix this horrid horrid crime. As we all know, ranting and raving on some blog is the best way to fix wrong people. Hell, I mean, the majority of my blog's followers are not even family members--so I must have a very good reach here (never mind that this is only because my family does not really bother or care to read my blog. As well, I seem to violate this, first commandment of the internet, as far as my family is concerned).

I mean, it is good that we have this great medium of information out there, and a large group of people to tell others just why and how everybody, but them, is completely wrong.

Myth: People use the Internet to talk to Friends and Family

Right--how many people actually enjoy talking to their family members? I mean, yes, you do get some members that are okay, and very nice to talk to.

However, most of your family is just people who are there, and generally annoy the crap out of you. Either you have a really psychotic mother (which, I am finding is surprisingly common). I mean, all women are crazy, and my Mom use to tell me growing up, "insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids."

2. Go forth and be psychos. For Psychotic people are the bread and butter of the internet

Think about this for a bit? Who are the people bringing about all the great technologies on the internets. Who is it that brings all the large amounts of social change. I will tell you who:

Crazy Fuckers.

Between much of how the World Wide Web was worked on in the late 1990s being done by the Heaven's Gate Cult. To the point that some suspect that one of the main causes of the Dot Com Bomb, was their little Nike Blanket Party, that they went to, to exchange Apple Sauce recipes. As most of their members were very influential workers of the Internet at the time.

Then we have The Goons, Anonymous and the Japanese bringing forth a large amount of technologies and social structures, concepts and pretty much everything we know about on the internets. Personally, of those, I would put the The Goons at the most sane, Anonymous at second place for sanity, and the Japanese as last place, no matter who is entered into this contest for sanity.

But then, I very public suspect that Japan consists entirely of C'thulhu Cultists.

Myth: People use the internet to talk to people of similar interests

Well, yes--and this is probably the biggest cause of drama out there.

I mean, I see myself, as a fan of anthropomorphic artwork, and very spiritually in tune with certain animals.

Which, thanks to internet drama lets me know, that my greatest desire is to have sex in teddy bear suits.

It really does not help that most interest groups are completely and totally wrong. In violation of the first commandment of the internet (not to be confused with the Rules of the Internet).

I mean, as we all know, I am a fan of the Vim text editor. Which of course, is the correct text editor to be interested in.

You get some asshats who try to say EMACS is much better. They are completely and totally delusional. As I can tell you exactly why Vi and Vim is the ultimate editor for all to use:

1. Personal Preference
2. Familiarity
3. It is a standard

See, this is exactly why, anybody who says they like EMACS are fucking nuts. I mean, how can they not understand that Vim is so much better than EMACS will ever be, for those above three reasons.

I will note, that my choice of operation system, or distribution of operation system, is best, for those above reasons. Anybody who suggests another one is one of the most laughably insane people out there.

And even then for interest groups, it is not because it is fun--it is because it is work.

3. Stop Having Fun!

I mean, how can you enjoy playing Super Smash Bros., if you have no clue what Wave Dashing is? I mean, that is the reason Brawl is the worst game on the planet. They removed Wave Dashing.

Then we move into Pokemon, which you cannot possible play the game, unless you know about natures, IVs and EVs. I mean, playing the game is useless without such knowledge.

This is exactly why Final Fantasy XIII is the penultimate game out there. You have to slog through twenty hours of completely dull and trite crap, just so that when you do get somewhere interesting, you have done all the work in being exactly like how you want to be, before you are allowed to have fun.

These are games here people! Ones that you need to play exactly one fucking way, of GTFO. See Internet Commantment 1.

It is rather common, for any interest group, to ban anything that is fun to do. I mean, look at Christianity, and their one simplified commandment: "if you enjoy doing it, it is a sin."

And like Christianity:

4. Thou shalt not improvise. For improvisation shows no knowledge of the subject matter, like that of drolling out rote memorised speeches.

This is a mix of commandments number 3 and 2.

I mean, you improvised a bit based on Monty Python? You did not match the lines and words completely and totally perfect?!

YOU CAD!

You coloured outside the fucking lines on some standardised rule set, that helps make a game better by removing the fun?

GTFO YOU MONSTER COW!

Clearly you have forgotten the whole point of the internet. You have turned away from your god, and these commandments. You shall be case out into the fiery inferno where disco will be played for all eternity.

Speaking of Disco Infernos.

5. Thous Shalt make porn of it.

However, this commandment cannot break any of the other four commandments. Especially number four. I mean, if your pornography is not something that matches all the other porno up completely and exactly, with perhaps even the horrid idea of some originality to it, this also ends up breaking commandments 1, 2, and 3--as well as the obvious breaking of number 4.

I mean, the idea that you like something that is not the same plastic mold over and over again, is completely abhorrent and wrong. How can you live with yourself?

The idea that everybody enjoys the same thing, also very nicely falls under number 2.

Enjoying pornography? Are you kidding? Nobody enjoys pornography. It is the most abhorrent item to ever look at. Just ask any clergy man. He will set you straight. Then, he will go to the Choir Boy's special vocal chord therapy, where he applies a very holy cream to their vocal cords, that give them the voice of angels. A completely valid practice in helping people sing. Just look at pretty much every pop star out there today. Proof that giving lots and lots of head is the best thing you can do for your singing career.

Summary of the Internet Commandments to follow with zealous religious passion:

1. Thou shalt not be wrong
2. Go forth and be psychotic. For the crazy people are the bread and butter of the internet
3. Thou shall stop having fun!
4. Thou shalt not improvise. For improvisation shows no knowledge of the subject matter, like that of drolling out rote memorised speeches.
5. Thou shall make porn of it

Now then, the Internet shall be a good and holy place, for all of mankind to thrive, live, breath and sleep. While womankind is in their kitchens, fetching them beer and sandwiches.

Gah! Why are Pogeymanz fans so bloody silly?! Gen V speculation rant

Please--some speculation is fine really, it is. However, if you are going to speculate, please take into account previous events in the series.

First off, the starters.

Okay, I am fine with people disliking certain generations of starters. People have been hating the various starterssince about Gen III. I do not have a problem with it. Saying that you hate all of the starters of a certain generation.

Just keep on that attitude. I tend to see a fair amount of "well, I liked the Gen III starters--I mean, they had flavour and various elements to them that war me up. However, I absolutely hate the Gen V starters. I mean, look at that complete rip off of squirtle and piplup."

Okay--you have the memory of a gnat. As typically you just go back a few years, and see either, they were not around for the Gen III stuff... OR, they hated the crap out of the starters. Saying silly things like how much Mudkipz will suck. Or laughing at the flaming chicken. That Gecko thing? Horrid.

Then Gen IV comes. Everybody hates those starters. Turtwig? When it came out, you were hating it. Chimchar? Oh great, another fire fighting. And a flaming monkey to boot. Those cads at Nintendo! I mean, what is their problem! Well, at least Piplup looks good. I mean, the others completely suck, and will never be used. Ever. No way that I can see them ever being used.

Now, we get to Gen V. You'd think we'd know better than to bitch about the starters this time around. I mean, we can get a jolly laugh at how wrong we were with Gen III and Gen IV--and look at these pictures, and speculate in positive ways.

Then, we get people ripping on the water starter. Okay--do they have a valid argument? It is a rip off of Squirtle and Piplup you say?

This, I really do not follow--one bit.

Maybe it is because I have some amount of knowledge of various biologically real animals in our world. Not a lot. There are tons of gaps in my knowledge. I am just wondering how a flippin' Sea Otter gets mistaken for a Turtle or a Penguin. Perhaps explain this to me?

I mean--no, I get it, the water types are much easier to base on animals in real life. Hence why they seem similar. As most of these are based on adaptions to living in water.

I mean, we have various wonderful creatures in our oceans here, that have adapted a lot of ways to live. Yes, some of them are similar--which would make Manaphy and Phione a complete rip off of Tentacool and Tentacruel in that sense. However, in comparison to say, the fire types. There are much less for creatures that live in a constant state of being on fire.

Yes, we have Slugma and Macargo. The only other two IRL creatures that spend a notable time on fire, are Buddhist monks and Poltergeist. Though, if we were to base a Buddhist Monk on Fire/Psychic, we'd have a lot of people referring to the resulting monster as "Carrie"--and trying for a female one.

Poltergeist is a hard one, as it kind of requires a psychic nearby. As typically, following cryptozoology, Poltergeist are not creatures--so much as the psionic abstraction of a really stressed out teenage girl. Be them apparently female, or a variant of MtF. I dunno--that would be fun to see a Shedinja style evolution here. Possibly with a six Pokemon appearing in your party of Fire/Ghost, if you have your Fire/Psychic Pokemon get sufficiently ticked off with you.

Okay, so due to the sheer lack of IRL creatures that are in reality on fire at any notable amount of time, they are kind of forced to get creative here. He have creatures that are based on various mytholigcal creatures normally to deal with fire. Such as Salamander (Charmander), Hedgehog (cyndaquil), Chicken??? (Torchic) and a Monkey. Personally, I like the idea of the last two. A six foot kick boxing chicken and a flaming monkey ARE fairly nice to stand next to.

Personally, I tend to breed my flaming kick boxing chicken in with my flaming monkey producing the following movset:

• Fire Punch
• Focus Energy
• Blaze Kick
• Double Kick

but, mostly because I really do not like the U-turn/Close Combat combo. Just personal preference here. That is my only issue with it, really.

I mean, now because we do not have animals constantly on fire, save some slugs, poltergeist (paranormal), and Buddhist monks, in comparison to a large amount of creatures that live in THE FRAKING WATER we have complaints on water types.

I really do not get how a sea otter is a ripoff of a turtle or a penguin. I do not think I will ever know.

I mean--bitching and moaning about the starters just gets a little annoying after a while. Especially when the people doing it know they are fully justified. Only to have them go back to liking them, once we get to Gen VI or Gen VII. You just know that these are the same people that will realise how wrong they are.

Next, we get into seeing the legendaries. You know what? They are legendaries. I do not give a flying crap about them. Want to know why?

Arceus is Zubat.

Hear me out here. Remember Mewtwo? A Pokemon that made use of Mew, to be compatible enough to graft all the DNA of the strongest Pokemon in the world. To make Mewtwo the greatest fighter ever conceived? Do you remember this idea that he was engineered to be God amongst Pokemon.

These are the same creatures that blink, and entire cities are in ruin.

Now, fast forward to Gen IV and Gen III. Mewtwo, while in an upper tier, generally is nothing that special. He will get his ass kicked by plenty of other legendaries just fine. Which, in my opinion, justifies his angsty state. As he was essentially made to suck sort of thing. Heck, two nonlegends are easily capable of taking him on to the point of "you mah hoe!" status, those being Wobbuffet and Garchomp.

The idea of being the bottom to Wobbuffet scares me more than being married to Bubba in prison, just to let you know. And to Mewtwo, I can understand the horror that this analogy demonstrates.

By the time, Gen VI or Gen VII comes around. Arceus will be Zubat.

So, really, the Legendaries do not interest me. what does?

Well, I really like Red Chocobo's and Zorak's additions to the world of Pokemon:

Let's Play Pokemon Emerald

Let's Play Pokemon Crystal

Let's Play Pokemon Quartz

Let's Play Pokemon Fire Red

From what I have seen of Red Chocobo's take on Platinum, it is pretty awesome as well.

If anything, it is more the society, culture and the people. The world that exists in here. The folklore. The local customs. How things work and operate in this world. The flora, the fauna--the normal things.

I find the common Pokemon more interesting that the legendaries. As to me, they are more real. The legendaries do have some form--but they really are not a major or real part of people's day to day lives.

Possibly with me MSTing the whole thing as I go through it. I have been known to scream at the Tv while playing Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness.

I also have been noted, that if I were to design a game, I would most likely end with something on par with a Super Mario World: Kaizo difficultly level.

And--oh dear... we have Shippings starting on.. the.. characters... we only have two sketches of the characters... and people are already trying to name the shipping that they will have.

Okay, you know what? I am just going to leave this alone. As, I have never really understood the idea of shippings. I somehow watched Sailor Moon, during its original North American Tv Airing in the mid-1990s, and got through it, without bothering to really care about who ends up with who.

This concept personally troubles me.

As well--a few years later, in the Sonic Archie comics, I was fully supporting of Julie Sue and Knuckles getting together, and pointing to the idea of Sally Acorn and Sonic getting together.

Yeah, I am one of those silly Sonic fans. This is why when people try to tell me I am smart, I point out that people tell that drooling guy over there eating crayons and talking about his birthday party how people tell him that he is smart and can do anything if he tries.

Now excuse me--I am not entirely certain my vacant drooling form is quite at the right level to get phrase of "you are sooooo special and smart!". Any recommendations of colours of crayons to eat to get this status? I hear that yellow is particularly good. Purple, not so much. Yes, Purple has one of the most not worthy tastes--but itis not good to promote drooling. It really does not build the brain enough to allow for people talk about extravagant galas at Chuck E. Cheese's in Hawaii either. I mean, the more the mentally retarded kids talk about that stuff, the more their care taker tells them, "oh, you are sooooo smart. You can do anything!"

So, yes, I guess, being a Sonic fan, could put me in a similar "very special and intelligent" level of regarding.

I mean, the only shippings I can ever think I have ever done (or even remotely cared about) were to deal with Sonic the Hedgehog at the age of fifteen or sixteen.

So quite clearly, I am not at the sage enough level to understand these concepts or ideas. I know they are there. However, much like most people can turn on a Tv, without noting how Liquid Crystal Displays or Cathode Ray Tubes operate, I will note that they are part of my world, even if I cannot understand their inner workings. This also means, I will not poke around with their insides. Like most people should probably not be poking around in a Television set.

Why do I even bother?

I mean, these are the same fans that refer to moves as "OMG HAX!" (which is on the level, in my mind, with people saying that stuff in CounterStrike). They call game modifications "Game Hacks"--which would make CounterStrike a Halflife "Hack" in comparison. As most of what they are doing with Pokemon Games are the same stuff that was done on DOOM I and DOOM II to allow for FPS modifications. Also similar stuff was done on games like X-Com, various D&D RPG Systems and Fallout, to make modifications in Elder Scrolls and Fallout 3 seem to be common place.

However, it is not like these are not educated people here. I mean, look at their tools. Done in... Visual Basic 5 and Java. The Java one (shoddy) is done by somebody, who in my only real conversation with him, claimed to attend the University of Alberta. When questioned the location of the Sciences Campus, he did not seem to understand that various UoA Campuses are scattered all over Alberta. With the Sciences Campus being located in Camrose, a small city south east of Edmonton with no major transport to and from Edmonton. He kept saying I was weird, for the suggestions that all the campuses were not in one spot--and chiding me for going to the lesser NAIT--and Institute of Technology.

These same highly educated people, who do not release their source to a buggy Visual Basic 5 application, because they do not want people to steal their code.

When it IS Open Source, they do silly things, like hard coding various numbers into them. Like the RNG reporter that has an entire section that generates a small in memory database as something to be compiled into the resulting binary. Rather than say, maybe making a database that could be customised.

It is irritating to see various best practices, such as MVC, modular coding, scripting and large amounts of stuff in PEP-8 not in anyway present in these.

And I have no issue with running something for the JVM. Go crazy. The JVM is actually surprisingly well designed. The language Java, however, is not. If you ARE going to work with the JVM, allowing your software to enter into enterprise areas, I would suggest going with Clojure or JRuby. If Jython was not still based on python version 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, apparently 2.5 (for reference the current stable of Python is 2.6, and testing is 2.7 and 3.0). I would also suggest that. And if that coder who promised to release Jerl 6 would do her job...

I mean, you know what? Maybe, I am not the only one crazy enough to suggest a C based framework to do a set of libraries for Pokemon applications. Be them to modify games, simulate or just be elaborate calculators? C based frameworks that follow a large amount of those books on programming theory made in the 1970s. Which suck. of course. I mean, how could they know about efficient code? I mean, they STILL were working within 64KiB of RAM. Computers were the sizes of small houses. Efficiency in software obviously was not something they knew at all. I mean, today, we are totally better. I mean, my program can totally run in 4GiB of RAM, with a 1TiB Harddrive--why am I suggesting it is bad, that we should require this, for something that this could be done on your old 486 with only 16MiB of RAM. Can't I tell that we are doing so much more with our processors today? er--going off on another rant here.

Evidentially, I am not eating enough paint chips to understand these people's really intelligent ideas.

Also, I apologise for the links to wikipedia here. Most of those however, are just for general knowledge of the subject. There are generally better ways to look into the subject-based on your Operating System of choice.

How to call somebody a god in a very insulting manner.

Oh, hey, want to refer to somebody as a very enlightened person, with all evidence pointing to yes, this person is in fact the enlightened Kung Foo master and all? Yet, still have everybody around you, see this as you completely tearing a strip off this person, while calling him highly enlightened?

Here is one way:

*blinks* well between the complete English fail here on presenting what you mean, this discussion was pretty much over already.

I mean, while I understand that this has been discussed to death (hence why I kind of dropped it in a form of agreement)... you DO realise that you said, "the talk page is to talk about X. Not to talk about X." to most people? I mean, unless you mean, that we are only to talk about the spelling, grammar and literary value of the article, I cannot have any clue as to what you just suggested as the policy in place here.

I mean, unless we go uber-meta, how can you talk about the article without talking of the context that the article is in, that is, the article's subject.

To bring up a summary, you just jumped into a discussion that ended, and said a confusing statement that talking about your article is a rather schroedinger's status here. As in the Talk we can both talk about the article and not talk about the article. Darklord, do you perchance have dog qualities? And if so, could you regale what the sound of one handed clapping is? --KatrinaTheLamia 19:49, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

See! I just called a site admin a rather enlightened Buddha type figure... and... I got banned for it.

As here, I pointed to a policy in question that was confusing as a form of enlightened Koan of sorts. That is, something along the line of "I am Buddha. I am not Buddha.". In this case, "You may not used the Article Talk page. You may use the Article Talk Page."

To clear this up further (brown is such a clear state of mud, you know?), I tried to support that it was a Buddhist Koan type reference here, by referring to a specific (an near lunatic status) school of Buddhism, that asks if dogs have Buddha qualities.

Essentially, I just told somebody that

A) His policy does not make any sense.
B) Opened a line of question to explain it.
C) Called him an enlightened admin
and
D) The admin felt rather insulted in the process

I mean, yes, I was rather impatient with him--but looking at previous articles, I am usually on edge in various communities dealing with Wikis. As typically, the admins of these places, are the exact sort that use to admin /M[UO].*/ of yesteryear. Typically as it is the only way they can get a power trip. It is, in short an outlet on life, where they still have some power.

Mind you, I do not hate them for it--no, this is merely a symptom of another worse situation. As the solution SHOULD be, looking into why they have gotten to the point, that the only place they think they have power is online. That should be what is disliked--not the power tripping admin.

Also, further more, it was cleared up, after I was blocked, that the talk page is for pointing out typos and broken links. Only confirming what I had long since suspected: complete and total misuse of MediaWiki software on a news portal.

As the whole point of having a software that anybody can edit, is that, well, anybody can edit it. And removing that "anybody can edit" by having them required to go through several steps of well--redundant department or redundancy stuff--to edit it for valid reasons to just do it (typos and bad links)...

Well--this is why I really hate wikis. The software and product itself is manageable, however, this is another Internets that I hate on the grounds of, "DAMN SCOTS! THEY RUINED SCOTLAND!"

This goes along with sprite Comics, Fan Fiction, Vampyr Communities, FPS, MMORPGs, Flash and PHP--that I really am leery about entering. As the concept of these communities really is not bad in and of themselves--it is the idiots using the concepts that I hate.

Why Nintendo Kicked Square Out of their Good Graces: The Alternative Truth

As we are all aware, when Nintendo released the Nintendo 64, relations with Square kind of took a nose dive. It should also be known that the last decent Final Fantasy game was for a Nintendo system. Final Fantasy seemed to keep getting more crap like with each installment from number seven on. Now, was it so much that Square left Nintendo in disgust of their cartridge system? Or perhaps Square felt Nintendo was being too limiting on the games they could make.

As we all know, Nintendo at least tries to make their games resemble a quality game for the whole family. At least... out side of Japan anyways.

It was during discussions of what Final Fantasy 7 would entail that Nintendo and Square had their big dispute. Generally listed that Square wanted to "do more on a game than the system would allow."

Now, let us suppose that the System here is not the N64 cartridge limitations--which were not nearly as severe as people make them out to be. Consider what all was done with LoZ: OoT and LoZ: MM. We STILL have people tearing though the code for those games and finding new stuff. Including a few things that were just thrown in as junk. Like the reports of code for Arwings and a Pirate Ship in OoT. OoT was in development for some time--and it was fairly impressive how they set it up.

Likely Square was talking to Nintendo about Cloud and some of the other characters in Final Fantasy 7. You know Cloud, Mr. "I cut myself, because I only know I am still alive if I hurt."

The writers likely presented Cloud and a few other characters--and the concept of Aeris dying to Nintendo, and I really doubt they would have any of it. I mean, if they had stayed, there would have been a quest to revive Aeris. And Cloud would have been a lot more chipper and happy in the game. Perhaps generally enjoying life--for just as little reason as Cloud currently is a--to put it simply: an Emo bastard.

I mean, yes, he did seem to have developed and got better by the end of Final Fantasy 7, only to have had the writer's decide that merely was a high point in his otherwise overly chemically depressed life.

Now then, compare this to other Nintendo Characters:

Mario is a large over weight plumber. Generally looks about as ugly as something that gets his face smacked in with a shovel every third day. He has a happy simple life. Gets hit on by trannies (like Birdo or Vivian)--and has a few Princesses shove him around, generally being various teases. Including Peach who instead went to "her" (see last blog entry) kidnapper for a relief.

Then to Link. If anybody has any right to be emo, it is Link. Link generally starts off every game with his parents killed off in some fashion, and an evil entity out to kill all his friends and people he cares about. Followed by this evil entity poisoning the land he grew up in. Then he usually has to grab three tokens followed by seven tokens to even see him. Yes, he does get some decent weapons--but he generally starts off his every incarnation getting the short end of the rope.

Never mind the four Legend of Zelda CDi games that he has to him. Samus Aran, Mario and Fox McCloud do not even have this to them. Oh--right... you only know about the first three. The fourth LoZ CDi game, known as The Death Disk colloquially, is said to be a component in the Necronomicon for the summoning of the final days, where the elder things from worlds outside our comprehension shall rise from the depths, and feast on us all. The Death Disk is currently being guarded in secret. The lucky ones are the first to be eaten, should any body find the Death Disk.

Kidding about fictional games aside--if anybody has any right of Nintendo mascots to be an emo kid, it would be one of Link's many incarnations. Though, I doubt any Emo kid would be known for the lines associated with Link from the old cartoon, such as: "weeeeeeeeell, excuuuuuuuse me princess."

I mean, and then Link also has Navi for a reoccurring character. If I had Navi even appear in my life, I would probably start talking about how I want to kill myself and being all depressed. I mean, seriously--living with Navi is probably a lot better reason to do emo blogs on livejournal than anything else I can think of.

And yet--nobody can possibly think of Link and Emo--until now. Eris damnit! I just invoked Rule 34 on Emo Link--probably mixed in with Shadow Link. If you desire to kill me, this would be another very good reason to do so. I am personally surprised with the sheer lack of lynch mobs in my life. I am going to need to change this.

Next, we move onto Fox McCloud. His father was shot down by his father's wingman. His father exists only in a state of his own mind, where every now and then, Fox will hallucinate his father coming to help him. Or sometimes this element in his mind will be used against him, by entities with telepathic powers, such as the Aparoids.

Now, Fox has not had much for games. His first game was on the SNES, which he seemed fairly calm and confident. Able to choose his path. The second game, Star Fox 2, was never released. It looked like it may have been a fairly decent and well done game.

Then Star Fox 64 was a remake, of sorts, of Star Fox. With some differences to the comic made of Star Fox. The Star Fox comic had Fox McCloud going on all three routes to try to get to Andross generally getting a lot of collateral damage done on his home, the Lylat System. Even then, in Star Fox 64 there are a lot of remnants of a really fierce war. Fox pretty much grew up in a war torn home.

I mean--this kind of puts Fox McCloud on a similar level to child soldiers in Africa.

Next game, he meets the love of his life, Krystal. Then has to deal with a Borg-like enemy consuming the Lylat system with technology that was hard to really face. There was a lot more that could have been lost in that war.

Then we move onto his involvement in Star Fox: Command Missions. Generally having a lot of character development elements show up in the game. Even at one point, with Krystal going off to join Star Wolf--his arch nemesis.

And yet, Fox does not seem Emo. If anything, he seems to be a little bit gruffer around the edges after this. Rather than blog about it on the Lylat Equivalent to live journal, he is more likely to kick somebody's ass in a bar fight. Orrr... go on a hot steamy date with Falco. I am personally waiting for this to show up as canon myself. As it is, there is no sign of any form of torrid love affair between Falco and Fox out side of slash fiction.

It really does not help, that Star Fox games generally tend to be few and far between. I personally love the series.

Next we move onto Samus Aran. Samus Aran has no idea who her parents were. They were killed long ago by a space pirate raid. She was left alive to be raised by the Chozo. Which she then went on to get her revenge mission, and become a well known bounty hunter.

While she may lament about fallen allies in Fusion--I must admit, I never really saw her as Emo. More just likely to kick your ass for looking at her the wrong way. But then, this was never a series I particularly enjoyed. I enjoyed Metroid on the NES--it has been a while since I played Metroid 2. Super Metroid I generally consider very over rated, and really, not worth my time. Metroid Fusion I got stuck in--there was a puzzle that refused to be solved. This puzzle is never able to be solved any time I head there either in the game. Metroid Prime, I am staying away from until I can find a copy of Metroid Prime Trilogy. Though--even then, I have never really been that interested in FPS, after all the really bad FPS I have seen over the years.

Then we have Metroid: Other M, and Metroid: Zero Mission, that I may check out--but well, I just cannot get into the Metroid series. I also really do not get why people are such huge fans of it. I just do not see the connection people have with it.

But then, I also consider Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past one of the biggest scrap heaps I have ever had the misfortune to play. Generally looking like an NES game, with only minor increases in functionality for the SNES. The graphics look horrible, even by other SNES games of a similar release date. I mean, compare the graphics in Sword of Mana (originally a SNES game) and Secret of Mana to LoZ:LttP. This is without going into what we found the system to really be capable of, when they released Yoshi's Island and Kirby's Dreamland 3. Kirby's Dreamland 3 generally having better graphics and much nicer look to it than Kirby 64: the Crystal Shards.

Also, around the same time as the release of the N64, Pokemon would have been gearing up. Creating Nintendo's mouse mascot we all know: Pikachu. The idea of Pokemon is the world is filled with monsters that generally could destroy you by breathing on you. There are many Pokedex entries about Pokemon who can destroy entires cities and militia forces in their general goals. You play as an 10/11 year old kid, who runs around, and shoves these monsters in tiny little capsules. I mean, I just want to see them try an Emo protagonist with this game. I honestly do not want to know it is possible though. I mean, even Wes, who was 17 did not seem Emo. Well, not to me anyways.

-=-

So--I dunno it just seems that very Square was going with the Final Fantasy series. Particularly FF7, FF8, FFX and FFX-2, may not have been a direction that Nintendo would have been happy with. If they did stay with Nintendo, the series likely would have ended up being way different than how we know it. Even without technology constraints measured in.

Super Mario Sisters: Your Plumber's Life in the Dirty Streets of the Mushroom Kingdom

Okay--now then. the Mario Bros series may be a little bit hard to follow. Here is a little set of clip notes to help you understand this world and series a little bit better.

You start off with Mario and Luigi. Two Brooklyn  plumbers who are ethnically Italian, for some odd reason. Mario and Luigi are fraternal twins. They found themselves, somehow, in the Mushroom Kingdom, where they are the only human people there.

Well, except for Wario. Mario's OTHER twin brother. And Wario's twin brother Waluigi. Though, there is doubt as to whether Waluigi exists and anything other than a hallucination by Wario. Which is a very entertaining idea to follow. As Waluigi does not really appear in many games at all.

So, we have four twins. This without the "evil twin" villain that has appeared in various of the RPG titles. Usually an enemy disguising themselves as Mario.

Next we have Baby Mario and Baby Luigi, both of whom where born and were residents of the Mushroom Kingdom. Kind of screwing with Mario and Luigi's already highly held back story. Mostly held by a fair amount of outside media that Nintendo spread around prior to Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. This appearing in The Super Mario Brothers Super Show and the Mario Brothers cartoon that was created, independently from Captain Lou Albino, in Japan.

Okay, you have this all settled, good.

Now, we meet Mario's first love. Princess Pauline. Mario saved Princess Pauline from Donkey Kong several times. Eventually Mario ends up putting Donkey Kong in a cage, and Donkey Kong Jnr. comes and rescues his daddy. Placing Mario as a villain in a game.

Next, Mario moves onto rescuing Princess Peach Toadstool from King Bowser Koopa. Princess Pauline is dropped like last night's spaghetti and spicy meat-a-balls. Rarely mentioned from here on. Generally, Princess Peach is the damsel for all the games, up until the Wii games. Then we get Princess Rosalina for our damsel.

So why not move onto the Koopa family. Currently, the known members are King Bowser Koopa, the Koopa Kids, and Bowser Jnr. Bowser Jnr. is noted as King Koopa and Peach's love child. Though, when Mario confronts Bowser, Bowser Jnr. and Peach about this, Peach says it is not "her" kid.

Now then, we go to the Koopa Kids. Where do they come from? I mean--it is not like Bowser really has a harem or anything. I mean--"he" is always after Princess Peach. Well, one game does have the Koopa Kids call Bowletta mom. Also known as: Bowser in drag. Though, Bowser having large amounts of anonymous sex as a girl with fully working reproductive organs WOULD explain their appearance. In lieu of any other seemingly reasonable explaination.

Now, this leads the question of where did Bowser Jnr. come from? If Bowser is a girl, and Peach is a girl...

Did I mention that Peach is rarely the damsel in distress on games from the Wii forward. Peach has also been the hero of one game where she saved Mario and Luigi from Bowser.

We also have seen various games where Peach has disguised herself in various situations to get somewhere she wanted to be. Though, this ability to sneak out with disguises seems to not appear consistently. Possibly because the Peach persona she has taken the show with, is one she enjoys the most.

Bowser Jnr's mother is actually Bowser--his/her father is Princess Peach. This kind of sort of hints as to what that rather odd talk Bowser and Bowser Jnr would need to have after the end of Super Mario Sunshine.

It also raises questions as to why TEC from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, was so interested in Peach. The Pervy computer's perv factor has just jumped up a few levels.

It is not like the first time there has been /trans.*/ characters in Mario Brothers. Vivian is a male, who generally flirts with everybody in the game he is in. In Japan and a few other regions, his flirting is taken just fine, with no major issues. However, outside of Japan, Nintendo did not think that Vivian was quite the image they wanted to spread. So Vivian got his MtF transitional surgery outside of Japan.

This is without going into the Birdo issues. Birdo was noted in the manual of his debue game as being a guy, but wore a bow, and insisted everybody refer to him as "her". This manual, revealing Birdo to be a drag queen, cross dresser or transgendered, was recalled shortly after it was put out. He was only returned to this status, after he hooked up with Yoshi. A character generally referred to as male, despite having fully functional reproductive organs. Nintendo, decided to start going with the idea of referring to Birdo as male, and Yoshi as female. As the idea of a /trans.*/ lesbian couple seems really weird to most people. It is either those of Birdo is a girl, and Yoshi is constantly mpreg.

I mean, it is fully possible that Peach is just a really convincing Ladyboy. Try playing Super Princess Peach with this idea. Helps if you have seen enough cartoons and comics depicting this happenstance. Hayate Combat Butler is a popular one I hear. There are many many more.

Naturally when Peach ended up finally getting close with Mario, doing more than bake him some cake--which was not known to be a lie at this point in history. Since then, scientific research has indicated that yes, the cake is, in fact, a lie. Finally Mario got the truth--all twelve inches of it. Peach rarely needs to tuck it. However, when she does tuck it in, she does do a remarkably good job of it. This does explain greatly why dresses are an issue in New Super Mario Brothers Wii.

So now Mario is after Princess Rosalina--with I guess Peach still in the story as Bowser Jnr's deadbeat father. Though, this would explain her kidnappings now. Bowser just wants to talk about alimony and child payments.

And that is my post, ensuring your nightmares have been kept booked for the next week. Well, some of you, this will result in a few wet dreams... perverts.