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The Lamia Hiss

The Lamia Harlot Hissing.

I make various off colour jokes on social ideas and constructs that seem weird or off to me. Possibly remarking why I cannot confess to being human really--humans make no sense to me. Typically including my ideas and thoughts on these rather weird ideas, conclusion jumping to the left, as I step around to the right to see what people are thinking here. Then I thrust some mind viruses in to really drive you insane.

But you know what? I just know history will repeat itself again.

Hope you enjoy me bitching people out.


Super Mario Sisters: Your Plumber's Life in the Dirty Streets of the Mushroom Kingdom

Okay--now then. the Mario Bros series may be a little bit hard to follow. Here is a little set of clip notes to help you understand this world and series a little bit better.

You start off with Mario and Luigi. Two Brooklyn  plumbers who are ethnically Italian, for some odd reason. Mario and Luigi are fraternal twins. They found themselves, somehow, in the Mushroom Kingdom, where they are the only human people there.

Well, except for Wario. Mario's OTHER twin brother. And Wario's twin brother Waluigi. Though, there is doubt as to whether Waluigi exists and anything other than a hallucination by Wario. Which is a very entertaining idea to follow. As Waluigi does not really appear in many games at all.

So, we have four twins. This without the "evil twin" villain that has appeared in various of the RPG titles. Usually an enemy disguising themselves as Mario.

Next we have Baby Mario and Baby Luigi, both of whom where born and were residents of the Mushroom Kingdom. Kind of screwing with Mario and Luigi's already highly held back story. Mostly held by a fair amount of outside media that Nintendo spread around prior to Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. This appearing in The Super Mario Brothers Super Show and the Mario Brothers cartoon that was created, independently from Captain Lou Albino, in Japan.

Okay, you have this all settled, good.

Now, we meet Mario's first love. Princess Pauline. Mario saved Princess Pauline from Donkey Kong several times. Eventually Mario ends up putting Donkey Kong in a cage, and Donkey Kong Jnr. comes and rescues his daddy. Placing Mario as a villain in a game.

Next, Mario moves onto rescuing Princess Peach Toadstool from King Bowser Koopa. Princess Pauline is dropped like last night's spaghetti and spicy meat-a-balls. Rarely mentioned from here on. Generally, Princess Peach is the damsel for all the games, up until the Wii games. Then we get Princess Rosalina for our damsel.

So why not move onto the Koopa family. Currently, the known members are King Bowser Koopa, the Koopa Kids, and Bowser Jnr. Bowser Jnr. is noted as King Koopa and Peach's love child. Though, when Mario confronts Bowser, Bowser Jnr. and Peach about this, Peach says it is not "her" kid.

Now then, we go to the Koopa Kids. Where do they come from? I mean--it is not like Bowser really has a harem or anything. I mean--"he" is always after Princess Peach. Well, one game does have the Koopa Kids call Bowletta mom. Also known as: Bowser in drag. Though, Bowser having large amounts of anonymous sex as a girl with fully working reproductive organs WOULD explain their appearance. In lieu of any other seemingly reasonable explaination.

Now, this leads the question of where did Bowser Jnr. come from? If Bowser is a girl, and Peach is a girl...

Did I mention that Peach is rarely the damsel in distress on games from the Wii forward. Peach has also been the hero of one game where she saved Mario and Luigi from Bowser.

We also have seen various games where Peach has disguised herself in various situations to get somewhere she wanted to be. Though, this ability to sneak out with disguises seems to not appear consistently. Possibly because the Peach persona she has taken the show with, is one she enjoys the most.

Bowser Jnr's mother is actually Bowser--his/her father is Princess Peach. This kind of sort of hints as to what that rather odd talk Bowser and Bowser Jnr would need to have after the end of Super Mario Sunshine.

It also raises questions as to why TEC from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, was so interested in Peach. The Pervy computer's perv factor has just jumped up a few levels.

It is not like the first time there has been /trans.*/ characters in Mario Brothers. Vivian is a male, who generally flirts with everybody in the game he is in. In Japan and a few other regions, his flirting is taken just fine, with no major issues. However, outside of Japan, Nintendo did not think that Vivian was quite the image they wanted to spread. So Vivian got his MtF transitional surgery outside of Japan.

This is without going into the Birdo issues. Birdo was noted in the manual of his debue game as being a guy, but wore a bow, and insisted everybody refer to him as "her". This manual, revealing Birdo to be a drag queen, cross dresser or transgendered, was recalled shortly after it was put out. He was only returned to this status, after he hooked up with Yoshi. A character generally referred to as male, despite having fully functional reproductive organs. Nintendo, decided to start going with the idea of referring to Birdo as male, and Yoshi as female. As the idea of a /trans.*/ lesbian couple seems really weird to most people. It is either those of Birdo is a girl, and Yoshi is constantly mpreg.

I mean, it is fully possible that Peach is just a really convincing Ladyboy. Try playing Super Princess Peach with this idea. Helps if you have seen enough cartoons and comics depicting this happenstance. Hayate Combat Butler is a popular one I hear. There are many many more.

Naturally when Peach ended up finally getting close with Mario, doing more than bake him some cake--which was not known to be a lie at this point in history. Since then, scientific research has indicated that yes, the cake is, in fact, a lie. Finally Mario got the truth--all twelve inches of it. Peach rarely needs to tuck it. However, when she does tuck it in, she does do a remarkably good job of it. This does explain greatly why dresses are an issue in New Super Mario Brothers Wii.

So now Mario is after Princess Rosalina--with I guess Peach still in the story as Bowser Jnr's deadbeat father. Though, this would explain her kidnappings now. Bowser just wants to talk about alimony and child payments.

And that is my post, ensuring your nightmares have been kept booked for the next week. Well, some of you, this will result in a few wet dreams... perverts.


  1. Um... you misused "cisgendered". In fact, you got it *exactly backwards*.

    Anyway, my take is a lot simpler... Mario *really* needs to lay off the mushrooms.

  2. Right--my bad.

    Generally when I see a word, my first instinct is to try to learn it by context. I admit, cisgender has been giving me issues.

    Looked it up--and I know why...


    I mean--there are billions of people who are a-okay with their gender. Compare to the billions of people a year who do NOT try out for American Idol. What are they? Nothing. They do not need a special word for them. Though, their helpful votes do provide a help out for the show.

    I mean, gend is a latin root. "er" is a suffix, and "cis" is a prefix. This much I got. I have never really seen the "cis" prefix prior to this (or at least not to my knowledge).

    I dunno--I have never really confessed much complained on the word soup around the GLBTTQ(etc) community. I dunno--this is where I am going to draw the line.

    Why the hell cannot "Allied" be used here?

    I mean--wow--never thought I would be learning a word on context and have to come up with the issue of having no clue why there is a word for them.

  3. Looks like an edit is in order to put the correct blanket statement into this post >.>'


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