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The Lamia Hiss

The Lamia Harlot Hissing.

I make various off colour jokes on social ideas and constructs that seem weird or off to me. Possibly remarking why I cannot confess to being human really--humans make no sense to me. Typically including my ideas and thoughts on these rather weird ideas, conclusion jumping to the left, as I step around to the right to see what people are thinking here. Then I thrust some mind viruses in to really drive you insane.

But you know what? I just know history will repeat itself again.

Hope you enjoy me bitching people out.



GAH! Okay--it is VERY rarely that a news story gets me pissed off enough that I am going to use my one tool to STOP PEOPLE BEING WRONG ON THE INTERNETS.

Because if it is one thing we cannot have, it is wrong people on the interwebs.

So, I am just going to unload this onto the the truck of the internet... well no wait--my colleague just said it is closer to a series of tubes.

Anyways--who is wrong today... why none other than the people all in awe of Transsexual Rappers. You know, the Sissy Bouncers.

New York Times Pretends to Cover Sissy Bouncers

Okay, first off: I do not care if you are a Xtain Nazi Midget Newt who is doing the rap. Or if you are gay, trans or what not.

If I enjoy your music, I am (generally) open enough to understand that you might have different views of the world in contrast to mine. Besides, if you are wrong, I do have a blog, which is of course the correct tool to correct wrong people on the Internets. Which is okay. It rarely is something that overly affects your end product. Just look at all the great writers and composers over the years. Some of them were very sick, sick twisted bastards.

Convsersely, I would ask, that if I were transsexual, that simply because you are also transsexual and making this item, not to automatically assume I am going to enjoy or really say anything other than, "that is nice."

Okay--now that this aside... let us go over a few issues.

Why in Eris' prickle orange name would I think Rap is homophobic. Personally I think Eminem is probably one of the most gayest rappers out there. Personally I am waiting for Eminem to appear on the MTV Music awards and do a messy open mouthed kiss with Elton John. After the crap about how too girls trying to kiss on camera--and finding it may not be for them, and was a bit awkward as being "edgy".

That was never edgy. However, I am fairly certain Eminem doing a sloppy open mouth kiss with Elton John would definitely, in my deranged mind, would be edgy.

Though, if Eminem did that, it would still not confirm he is gay to me. As well--his main shtick is, that he is a shock artist that gives the audience what they want. You know, that whole "What you say I am" thing he did on his second LP.

Either way, considering how many groups we have that are your atypical rap group doing the stuff--that is anything that are not white and black people born and raised in suburbia for the most part--having people who are gay, lesbian, bi, /trans.*/, allied or any of the wonderful other labels that make the Pride Rainbow into a wonderful alphabet soup do it really does not seem odd to me.

Now, if we had Molly the Rapping Sheep, THAT would be something I would love to see a news story on.

Okay--next detail... performing at a sports bar.. okay that is... in New Fvcking Orleans?!?!?

I thought that had sunk and was currently next to Atlantis? Dammit! Well Hurricane Season IS coming up again.

Well, lets see, we have some people that are part of the Pride community, performing in probably the most open city in the continent, save for San Franfvckingsisco. I mean, I am fairly certain that if California were to sink into the ocean and New Orleans somehow was high enough above water to still hold a population (maybe set up a glass dome around it? This IS the 21st Century and all--we were suppose to get glass dome cities weren't we?), I am fairly certain no other city could easily compare with New Orleans to hold the role San Fransisco once held.

As well, the glass dome option is not as real of one for San Fransisco, as it requires a form of foundation that is not currently situated on a major fault.

So, okay, we have Sissy Bouncers, performing a genre that already has plenty of atypical entries in it (that is people who have not grown up in suburbia who have some weird sets of delusions about their street cred and make up ridiculous stories about being shot eight times before making it in rap), in the second most open city to their gender and sexual orientations on the continent.


But no... but no--who gives me this revolutionary news story? Twitters @TGWorldNews

Okay--you know what? This is a typical Web 3.0 thing they do. The comb through twitter, and find all the transgendered stuff people are really loving. Which there are plenty of people who think this is a wonderful concept.

Consider this having me add a Web 3.0 tag to my blog entries. I normally append stuff with "fail" on this subject... but well with Web 3.0's rather revolutionary retarded idea of "the sampling wisdom of crowds", prepending "fail" to Web 3.0 tags would be redundant.

But then, for some reason, I missed out on why one million people are less able to be idiots than one person.


Damn it! Handle Store Owners Better


This is why people follow you around as trouble makers in stores. YOU CONFIRM IT TO THEM!

Okay, I have two friends, who generally have people following them around like trouble makers. Which okay--I have never really seen them get into trouble. Usually the store owners will peg them as trouble makers right away. Which, you know--generally store owners come up to me, usually at first, like I am a huge ass trouble maker.

However, I react a lot differently from these two. One will just sneer and get ticked off--generally act all irritated with the store owner.

The other will react right away. Start screaming her head off. She is not a trouble maker and all that other stuff. Not only that, but the store is some kind of "insert derogatory term". Be it prep, or nigger, or coon, or kyke or wop--or... I mean... okay... I think you just justified his watching you in the store.

I mean--just looking at how differently I handle these people working in the stores in comparison to these two... no fvcking wonder they get watched and I generally get along with the people.

Okay, my tips for not getting bitched out by people--and getting extra in stores.


Typically, even if the service is lousy, if it is an option, give the person a tip of some kind. Even after the first tip, you will notice the service going up quite a bit. As the service goes up, increase how much you tip.

The beautiful thing is--people working at these places generally keep track of who tips the best. Generally giving them better service than the people that do not tip.

Heck, I have ordered a Pizza that was suppose to take fourty five minutes to get to my place, but because I was known to be the kind to tip, I got it in 25 minutes. I of course gave him a better tip--as he pretty much got there in half the time I expected.

The person in the store or restaurant is a person.

Treat them as such. Chat them up. Ask them about what kind of day it has been so far. Treat them nicely--if possible. If you do not have something you should, or you move too slowly, apologise. Thank them. Be polite. More and all, even if it is some fifteen year old working at a till in a McDonald's, they are still a person--and deserve your respect.

If they are irritated, just assume it has been a bad day, and they have had to deal with fvckwads for customers for most of it. Be nice to them, apologise--generally state wishes that there day gets better.

Heck, defend them from other bitchy customers. You will usually be able to spot which ones are generally just whiners. Since you are also a customer, call the other customer on it. As generally these people bitching and moaning tend to make things go slower. Very rarely do they have a legitimate excuse and typically it was there own mess that they are blaming the worker on.

For example, one person, taking a cab, parked the cab, outside a restaurant, then went in--ordered his stuff. Then starts complaining because the people in the drive thru got a higher priority in getting the food. Generally complaining about how his required payment on his cab, that he went into the restaurant for, is going way to far up--because the drive thru had higher priority.

Ask the worker for their recommendations

The person working there has it as their job to be near this stuff all day long. Ask what they'd recommend today. If you are having issues getting a third item on the menu, or some in store item they'd recommend--just ask them about that stuff. Typically you must be ready to buy this stuff too.

Do not talk to the store worker, unless you are certain you can make a purchase.

Yeah, this appears to be something that should be obvious. If you do not have the money to buy something, do not go up to the counter and ask where all the fancy crap is. I mean, okay, I have not worked much for retail jobs (none really), but even I can understand that this would be something that a retail store owner would get so bloody damned annoyed over.

I mean, I really do not get why robotic store attendants are not so popular. I mean, apparently people just like being asses to teenagers and old people working at these places.


Fvcking Birthdays >.>'

Bloody hell--I am off with a friend who keeps insisting on window shopping with him for his birthday. Not something I really want to do. As I see the situation as, "I am not likely to be able to afford most of this he is wanting. Neither can his girlfriend... and definitely not him"

Me, and his girlfriend are the only one with an income. He manages to drag us out--and into a few stores. Picking up every such thing on the shelves... and asking the people at the till if they have a copy of the games he wants.

Okay--clearly he is very excited. He turns 26 at the end of July.

Meanwhile, I am just groaning. He is acting like he has all sorts of stuff coming his bloody way. Where the hell is this coming from?

He keeps talking about all this stuff that is coming in. I am just smiling and nodding. Because if I tell him, not to count on this stuff, he is going to get all defensive about how these are sure things. Even though, after nearly every bloody one of them, he says, "maybe he can get me this--perhaps that. I can pull some strings."

Okay--you know what? How the hell does he even think he can even get a decent birthday?

Then--it hit me. The last decent party, that I had people show up and I had fun, that I have ever had, was when I was eight years old.

Every time after that--nobody really ever showed up. Mind you, my birthday IS on Labour Day weekend. Or all that I could get managed was just some crapping sit in at a restaurant I could go to anyways.

For a little while, I tried bolstering interest, by talking about it a few months prior.

I have just kind of came to terms, that my birthday is just another fvcking day. I mean,there have been times that I have been reminding my mom for a month prior--then she comes up when it is nearly Octobre, telling me that she forgot.

I have had to share my birthday a few times with my brother who was born on the twentieth... over four years and two weeks after mine.

Then--every now and again, I will get my mom bothering me about what I want... on something that has became pretty much just another day. Why the hell would I expect to get something special on a Sunday? Why the hell is my birthday any different?

But no, and then she does the sad but irritated act like, "people do not know what to get you."

I have kind of just stopped saying anything  about this day--because you know what? It is obvious nobody cares. Pretty much every birthday party since I was eight has been the most sorriest flop of an excuse I have ever seen.

Which okay--maybe everybody else's birthday's suck? Or at least that is how I understand it.

Seeing as how I am never really ever invited to them.

I mean, I do have a few friends... but it is always, "oh, I get you just fine--but none of my other friends would really get it. There would be drama and--"

"--I am just your dirty little secret. You are ashamed to know me."

"No, no--I think you are wonderful it is just my friends would not get you."

When I have pretty much learned that formula completely--and this is not a person I am getting sex from... or really see that interested in having sex--it kind of makes me just put this sort of stuff in the corner of my mind of Schroedinger's cat.

Schroedinger's Fvcking Sweet Kick Ass Party.

It both exists--and does not exist. Trying to see if it does exist changes the situation you are trying to measure.

What is there to get? I am a psychotic bitch. Okay yes--I get that... how do others not get it?

Then we have ass hat here, going on about how he is going to get all of this. Get all of that. I am just standing there, going "really--you really think your birthday is going to be all that and a bag of potato chips."

Then, I realised--it probably is.

You know--I really doubt i am going to be dating anybody soon. So many bloody self esteem issues, self image issues and all that to really work out. Yet, people keep saying, "you need to get laid."

Fvck--not going to happen any time soon--not with a person as damaged as I am. There are better people to hook up with.

Just smile and nod--just smile and nod.

Well, now to post more pictures of myself, in hopes that somebody has the good sense not to bullshit me, and tell me how fugly I am.