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The Lamia Hiss

The Lamia Harlot Hissing.

I make various off colour jokes on social ideas and constructs that seem weird or off to me. Possibly remarking why I cannot confess to being human really--humans make no sense to me. Typically including my ideas and thoughts on these rather weird ideas, conclusion jumping to the left, as I step around to the right to see what people are thinking here. Then I thrust some mind viruses in to really drive you insane.

But you know what? I just know history will repeat itself again.

Hope you enjoy me bitching people out.


DO NOT Masturbate while watching Jim Henson's Labyrinth

Okay... I do some pretty weird and odd things. Yes. At one point, I put on some Internet porn, while playing Jim Henson's Labyrinth. It was another Tuesday for me--and I figured, I am a little bit bored. Maybe I will motivate myself with some dirty stories, that is Erotic Fiction. I had put Jim Henson's Labyrinth on a bit prior. I was half watching it.. but really, that is all I have to do with that movie. I really do not think I missed much.

As well, it was a movie from before movies decided that the need to change camera angles and scenes fast enough to give small dogs seizures.

So, thanks to newer movies ruining me, by their flashing a scene for five seconds then onto another one like they were targeted for people with severe ADD, I was generally able to quickly see the wonderful and beautiful scenes in the movie. They truly were nice btw.

I was also able to load up some erotic fiction to try to release some pressure that tends to build up naturally. The movie was helping slow the build up. We have a stupid girl, who thinks she is more clever than she is. Kind of reminds me of some all blog writers. We have a David Bowie wandering around, essentially being the girls subconscious side of her mind. One that is merely there to keep her from her goal.

Girl has a really fvcked up mind. I mean, yes, I am certain I do have David Bowie running around in my head--but I understand it is because I am screwed up.

So, I am going into a fantasy or two. It is the internet, and erotic fiction covers all targets. Well, it covers a few that require the writer have some knowledge of biology before working on it.

I am going through it--imagining my little fantasy world, where sex is perfect. There are no issues... when the movie starts to pop in and interrupt. No... no... I can just ignore the fact we have a rather freaky looking David Bowie singing for a kid that he is going to turn into a Goblin. I can shut that out, while I explore.

Well, turns out I could not. I got off in my fantasy world, without much interference that time.

However, every time, I have tried to think about sex... David Bowie enters my head Labyrinth style.

I mean--maybe I should just accept this and make a sexual sort of fantasy out of it.

How about... no!!

I mean, I did consider the idea that doing this would have me get turned on during watching Labyrinth. I have a friend, that I had a threesome with, while watching Sweeney Todd. Who now gets an erection EVERY time he sees the movie. This same friend, I had another threesome with while he was playing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. No word on if that has made him get an erection at Legend Zelda games, young Zelda or young link. Or at the mention of forest stones. Me and his girlfriend kind of jumped him during the first speech Link and Zelda have, after he sneaks into that spot.

I mean, I am cool with getting hot when watching the movie. Or even when looking at David Bowie.

No... what really freaks me out, is when I am trying to have a nice peaceful, estrange sexual fantasy that breaks several taboos and quite possibly immoral, I suddenly have cast members from Jim Henson's Labyrinth show up.

It makes me feel guilty about what I am doing, and a bad person. Considering the actions in these fantasies WOULD make me a bad person, should I lose the ability to tell fantasy from reality--I really do not appreciate the added guests in the fantasy. GAH! Thank you David Bowie, you ruined sex for me!

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